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(click here to watch 2 minute clip of Bruce Almighty)

Bruce Almighty is was one of my favorite movies of the 90’s. It is a great parable (a story that teaches a lesson) of what it would be like if you got to play the role of God. One obvious lesson is that we wouldn’t do well playing the role of God. A second obvious lesson is that many of us believe that we can do a better job than what He is presently doing (or not doing). A not so obvious lesson that was hinted at near  the beginning of the movie is that there must be a better God.

There’s the story of a man was walking on a pitch black night when he fell over a cliff. On the way down, he managed to grab hold of a small tree sprouting out of the side of the precipice. Desperately he began to call out for help and a voice answered, “What do you want?” “I’m stuck down here holding on to a tree. I can’t hold on too much longer. Can you help me?” “Yes,” came the reply. “Who are you ?” the man asked. “I’m God,” replied the voice. “What do you want me to do?” asked the man. “Let go of the tree.” For a while there was silence. Then the man called out and said, “Is there anyone else up there?”

Even though God gave us His one and only Son who was beaten, mocked, crucified, and was resurrected – a lot of people are still looking for a God. Churchandculture.org tells us that there is something in the air these days that is different for those on a spiritual search; “It used be that people wanted proof of things like, reasons to believe God exists, reasons to believe that Jesus rose from the dead, and reasons to believe that the Bible is true. But lately the questions have changed. The questions now have to deal with what God is like. People don’t ask, ‘Is there a God?’ as much as ‘I’m not sure I like what I know about God?’ Especially the God of the Bible.'”

Some people see the God of Bible as angry, mean, and He loves to send people to hell. Others think that God is overreacting when it comes to divorce, homosexuality, sex before marriage, and cheating on our taxes. People today are having a difficult time relating to God of the Bible because he seems to not care and doesn’t really do anything. According to Bruce in the Bruce Almighty clip, God is just messing things up.

Many of us who follow Christ even wonder why God doesn’t just step in and makes things better than the way they are. When things don’t get better we think we need a better God – a  God who is better at meeting needs and answering our prayer. Whether you like the next thing I am about to write,  it is true of all of us.

All of us have certain expectations of God.

This is why we get so disappointed and angry with Him.

• We expect God to end suffering. (after all, He is a loving God isn’t He?)
• We expect God to lighten up on the “do’s and “dont’s” (after all, the road can’t be that narrow can it?)
• We expect God to answer all our questions  so that we don’t have any doubts or uncertainties. (after all, we certainly don’t need to worry more than we have to!)
• We expect God never to send any person to hell. (especially those people that we like).

He is capable to end suffering. He could get rid of the do’s an don’ts. He could and answer all  your questions so that you wouldn’t have any doubts or uncertainties. He could never send anyone to hell. If you honestly think about it if he did do those things we would become even more selfish and even more spiritually childish. If we were Bruce Almighty and God handed us his power for a day we have ideas of what we would do with the world:

• We would destroy ISIS
• We would end the rumor of war and war itself, hunger, murder, disease, poverty, rape, famine, jealousy, child abuse, spousal abuse, molestation, abortion, mental illness, cancer, evil, hell, and we could go on and on and on and on and on. We would definitely put the best president in office who would honestly be for the people.

Like Bruce Almighty we would eliminate anything bad because we need people to love God.  The bottom line is this – we won’t say it – nor would we want to admit it …. .”If I was God, things would be a whole lot different.”

This attitude is not new …. You can find it in the Bible.

This is the way one of the most famous person’s in the Bible started his journey. Thinking he could a better job.  He was very boastful and prideful when it came to life. His name was Peter.

Luke 5:1-11

“One day as Jesus was preaching on the shore of the Sea of Galilee, great crowds pressed in on him to listen to the word of God.  2 He noticed two empty boats at the water’s edge, for the fishermen had left them and were washing their nets.  3 Stepping into one of the boats, Jesus asked Simon, its owner, …to push it out into the water. So he sat in the boat and taught the crowds from there.   4 When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Now go out where it is deeper, and let down your nets to catch some fish.”   5 “Master,” Simon replied, “we worked hard all last night and didn’t catch a thing. But if you say so, I’ll let the nets down again.”  6 And this time their nets were so full of fish they began to tear!  7 A shout for help brought their partners in the other boat, and soon both boats were filled with fish and on the verge of sinking.   8 When Simon Peter realized what had happened, he fell to his knees before Jesus and said, “Oh, Lord, please leave me — I’m too much of a sinner to be around you.”  9 For he was awestruck by the number of fish they had caught, as were the others with him.  10 His partners, James and John, the sons of Zebedee, were also amazed.

Jesus replied to Simon, “Don’t be afraid! From now on you’ll be fishing for people!” 11 And as soon as they landed, they left everything and followed Jesus.

You need to understand …. Peter was a seasoned, professional fisherman. He knew the waters, he knew the sea, he knew the fish, he knew the fishing business. A seasoned carpenter was telling a seasoned fisherman how to fish. No seasoned professional likes to be told how to do their job. After he gets done preaching …. Jesus tells him …. Let’s go fishing.

Listen to Peter’s response:

He said, “Listen, we just came back from fishing. And we were hard at it.  And we weren’t able to catch anything.  So I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Peter had to be thinking:

“This guy knows nothing …. I mean NOTHING …. about fishing. First of all you don’t fish this lake during the day .. .only at night. I know fishing and how to fish …. his idea is just plain dumb. Jesus, you need to stick to your ‘love thy neighbor and do unto others’  speeches and let me do what I do best. Your idea is ludicrous.”

You can continue to hear Peter thinking, since he respected Jesus so much, “Whatever, Let’s just gets this over with.  I’m tired because I just worked all last night but I’ll humor you and prove you wrong.” But he does do what Jesus asked him to do. As you read the story you learn the Jesus is the king of even the Bassmasters.

Why do you suppose Jesus took time to give Peter this lesson? For the same reason he wants to give it to us.

If we think we know more than God, then either the God of the Bible is bogus, and we need to find a completely different God;   Or we’ve made Him so small in our life that we might as well find another one, because a God that knows less than we do is a pathetically weak version of whatever God really is.   Or there is no God.   Or we’re God because we know so much.   Or…    fill in the blank. Or could it be that the God of the Bible knows more about fishing – and everything else – than we think He does, and deserves our allegiance?

Like Peter thought he knew more about fishing than God, we sometimes think we know about the world than God. We all think we know more about certain issues than God. We become “experts” in areas, like Peter, where we think we know more than God. We might not say it but our actions and behavior prove it. If we are honest, there are certain areas of our life and this world where we want a better God. The scriptures invite us to bring our doubts, our complaints, and our questions about God to God.

To get a glimpse of what I am talking about lets look at a prophet who stands apart from all the rest of the prophets. Here is what made this guy different. All of the other prophets spoke God’s word to the people. Habakkuk spoke the people’s words to God. He lived during a time of violence and political change. The political world was falling apart around him through war and destruction and he lived in a culture that was increasingly into immorality and paganism. It was not a pleasant experience for Habakkuk. If there was ever a time when people could say, “God, what are you thinking?  Where are you?  Why don’t you do something?” This was it!  I’m pretty sure they were thinking, “If I were God, this wouldn’t be allowed to go on another second!”

What does Habakkuk do?

He takes every complaint, every question, every doubt the people were having and asked the hard questions of life and confronts God. Listens to what he says:

How long, O LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen? Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save?  Why do you make me look at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrong?     Destruction and violence are before me;     there is strife, and conflict abounds. Therefore the law is paralyzed,     and justice never prevails.     The wicked hem in the righteous,     so that justice is perverted. (Habakkuk 1:2-4,  NIV).

Habakkuk is totally overwhelmed by the things going on around him. What does he do? He cries out to God. Do you notice what he says to God?  He doesn’t ask God to get him out of his situation. He doesn’t ask God to put the right person in power so that things can get better.  He doesn’t even ask God for help. He says, “How long, O’ Lord must I call for help?, How long is this going to go on?, How long will I suffer?, How long do I have to endure?   How long will I hurt?   How long!   Because I don’t know how long I can go on.” And then he asks, “why?”  “Why did this happen to me?   Why didn’t you come to my rescue?   Why did you do this to me?   I need to know.”

And his questions weren’t  limited to what was happening to him, but also what was happening in the world around him. He saw the violence. He saw the injustice. I am sure that Habakkuk asked God the question: “What are you going to do about it?” The situation cries out for a divine judge to intervene, one who is always just and guarantees justice for his people and the world. Habakkuk needed God to divinely intervene. But it didn’t come. And no one was standing up against it.

Even after he pleaded with God for help ….. He never showed up.

Have you ever begged God for help and He never showed up?

• I begged God to bring my dad back to life.
• I begged God to bring my brother Chuck out of his diabetic coma.
• I begged God to resuscitate my mom.
• I begged God to take the cancer out of my mother-in-law’s body.

He never showed up. “Hello, God, are you there?” There was not any divine intervention. There was not a miracle cure. There was not a miracle healing. NOTHING.  Like Habakkuk, the only person I could go to was God. Of course I wanted him to heal all of those important people in my life. But ….. He didn’t.

In Habbakuk’s case he wasn’t just some atheist asking God to prove Himself by doing something miraculous. It was the authentic searchings of someone who wanted to believe, wanted to know, and wanted to understand. He was crying out to God, “God, help me in my unbelief. I am overwhelmed with what’s  going on in this world. I am sick at my stomach that you won’t divinely intervene.” He wasn’t unwilling to believe – he was just unable to believe. When you are unable to believe you ask God the questions, “how long must I go through this ?” and “Why don’t you intervene.” and “Why aren’t you doing anything?” When you are unwilling to believe you just blame God, walk away from him, and take your toys with you and you go find a better God that will meet your needs.

Habbakuk didn’t take all his questions and runaway from God. He took all of his questions and turned to God. This is exactly what God’s wants us to do. He wants us to wrestle with Him because when are wrestling with Him he has our full attention. We must allow God to prove himself like he proved himself to Peter and trust that He just might know more than you.

Are you willing to say to God, “Listen, I really do think I know more than you do about this area of my life, but because you say so, I’ll go out into deep water and drop my net.”

We don’t need a better God – we need to wrestle with Him and let Him take us into deeper water. Who knows you just might catch some fish.

There are times we get fairy tales and faith messed up.

There is a story about a grandfather who wanted to see how much his four-year-old granddaughter knew about the Easter story. He put her on his lap and asked, “Julie, why do we celebrate Easter?” Without hesitating, she said, “Jesus was crucified. After He died, His body was put into a grave. They rolled a big stone in front of the opening. A bunch of soldiers guarded the tomb. On the third day, there was a big earthquake and the stone rolled away.”

Grandpa was pleased with how much his granddaughter knew about the Easter story but then she continued, “When the earthquake happened, the entire town came out by the grave. And if Jesus came out and saw His shadow, they knew there would be six more weeks of winter!”

There are some who think the resurrection of Jesus is just a fairy tale. Even worse, there are some who believe the resurrection of Jesus is just one of many legendary stories. For thousands of years people have tried to prove that Jesus death and resurrection is just a fairy tale. For thousands of years people have tried to prove that his death and resurrection isn’t  a fairy tale.

Those who believe it is a fairy tale will tell you that the women who came to take care of Jesus’ body killed the guards, rolled away the stone and hid the body. There are others who believe it was Judas on the cross. There are some who believe He didn’t die at all  – they claim the disciples took him down and nursed him back to health. I have also read that the disciples secretly came in the night, stole the body, and created the illusion of Jesus walking around the country side appearing to people.

I, personally, have had arguments with people on twitter about Jesus (I don’t recommend it). They said He doesn’t exist. I said he does. They say his birth is legend. I say it really happened. They say his resurrection never happened – it’s just a fairy tale that people believe because religious people need a reason to celebrate the Spring solstice. I say his resurrection did happen and it changed everything!

As important as I think words are, as much as I like to prove others wrong, as much as I want to persuade them and you to believe that his death and resurrection did happen, as much as I want to persuade them and you that without his death resurrection there would not be hope,  as much as I want to persuade them and you to believe that without his death and resurrection your faith is futile ……

• If His death and resurrection doesn’t cause you to think different
• If His death and resurrection doesn’t cause you to have a different attitude
• If His death and resurrection doesn’t affect the direction of your life
• If His death and resurrection doesn’t affect what or who you put your belief in
• If His death and resurrection doesn’t affect the way you think and feel ……..

Your faith is futile. Which means it is powerless.

Look at what Paul says in I Corinthians 15:17,

And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins.

The resurrection of Jesus is not a fairy tale. There are some things many Christians believe that are the stuff of fairy tales.

There are many who believe the fairy tale that He rose from the dead to make us nice, normal, American citizens.

There are many who believe the fairy tale that He rose from the dead to help us feel better about ourselves and have a better self-esteem.

There are many who believe the fairy tale that He rose from the dead so that you and I can live a normal, All-American – church – going – Christian – life without having to pay any price for following Him.

Still, there are many who believe the fairy tale He rose from the dead so that you and I could say a little prayer and feel better about ourselves.

If you believe any of those fair tales are true …. I have to wonder ….. Do you know Him?

I have found a startling (startling to me at least) statistic given by the Barna Research group: 85% of the people who live in the U.S. believe in God or believe there is a God. Looking at our world ….. you have to wonder how many of the 85% really know Him. From my (personal) observation, the story of the death and resurrection of Jesus is just a legend like that of Paul Bunyan and Johnny Appleseed (to some of the 85%). A legend is a story from the past that is believed by many people but cannot be proven to be true. Fairy tales and legends are two types of folklore. Fairy tales and legends are powerless. They can inspire us to great things but they don’t have the power to transform the heart and will of man if you put our faith in them.

Hasn’t ever made you wonder that if 85% of Americans believe in God or believe there is God, why on earth we are not making more of a difference in our world?  There are 318 million (2014)people that live in the U.S. . This means that 270,300,000 people believe in God or believe there is a God. I have an educated Biblical guess  on why we – Christ followers and lovers of God – are so powerless in America: Our faith is futile (powerless). We really don’t believe He was raised from the dead. Those who fervently believe He was raised from the dead:

• Love their enemies
• Pray for those who persecute them
• Go the extra mile
• Look to the interest of others and serve them
• Seek first the Kingdom of God

I wonder how many of those 270 million people know Him?

I do know that these 270 million believe in something or someone. The desire to believe was knitted in us when we were put together in our mother’s womb. Even the enemies of Jesus believed Him – that is why they wanted to nail him to a cross and tried to get rid of him. They saw the affects He was having on the people. Even Satan and his demons knew Him. This is why they feared and trembled when Jesus came into a room.

He wasn’t a celebrity. There was nothing about Him that would have attracted anyone towards him. He wasn’t good looking and His one and only sermon was three lengthy chapters long – which is probably around 3 hours. Why on earth people would hang around for three hours to  listen to a guy preach is beyond me. But he was having a profound influence.  Like the Trump phenomenon (now please … some of you trump haters – I am not saying he is remotely close to Jesus – no one  has ever come close to Jesus) that is presently taking place, which really can’t be explained, no one could stop Jesus. They had to kill him to try and stop him. Jesus was truly a phenomenon –there has been no one like him before or since who has affected the course of history like He has.

All of us have a belief system. All of us believe in something and/or someone.  God knit in each of a us a desire to believe. Belief is that  intellectual pursuit of the truth. What we put our belief in effects how we spend our time, make decisions, spend our money, and how we treat our friends and enemies.

Most of us reading this have probably made Jesus a part of that belief system. Do you “hear” the problem. Many have only made Jesus a PART of their belief system. This explains why many Christ-followers are so powerless.  On a daily basis, there are many gods competing for your attention. Jesus is not one of those many gods. He’s not going to compete for your attention. He’s paid the price. He’s rose from the dead literally, physically, bodily, and visibly. Like the father in the story of the prodigal son – He’s just waiting. Waiting for you to come home.

• He doesn’t want to be part of your belief system 
  
• He doesn’t want to be a Facebook post (you know the ones, “click ‘like’ if you love Jesus”
• He doesn’t want to be a part of your life’s story
• He doesn’t even want to be a belief system

He wants to be you and I’s first love.

• He wants us to love him more than we love our spouse
• He wants us to love him more than we love our pets
• He wants us to love him more than we love our stuff
• He wants us to love him more than we love our kids
• He wants us to love him more than we love our phones
• He wants to love him more than we love our sports teams.

He’s not going to compete for your attention. He wants you and I to seek first the kingdom of God. He’ll take care the other the other things (above) that are competing for your attention.

Of the 270 million people who believe, I wonder how many of them put their faith in Him? What I am saying is that not everyone who believes in him actually puts their faith him.

Believing in him affects your head. Faithing (yes this is a made up word)  in Him is a heart issue. Faithing is when  you put what you believe to the test. Faithing happens when your head and your heart are on the same page. Anyone  can say they believe what Jesus says is true. All of the major religions in the world believe that Jesus was a great prophet and a profound teacher but they don’t put their faith into His teachings. They put their faith in someone else.

When Jesus was crucified and pronounced dead everything the disciples believed was crushed. He had told them a couple of times that He was going to die and would be resurrected. Once it actually happened, what they believed was put to the test.  It now went from a head issue to a heart issue. After Jesus’ death and resurrection, the disciples were almost immediately transformed from men and women who were hopeless and fearful after the crucifixion into men and women who were confident and bold witnesses of the resurrection.  These men and women were faithing. They risked their lives for what they believed even though the people around them found it hard to believe that this man Jesus really did rise from the dead. It started with the 12, then to 144, then to thousands, which morphed into millions, which morphed to even billions and trillions  of people lives being transformed. They kept telling people and telling people and telling people until finally you and I heard it for the first time.

To them who witnessed His death and resurrection, it was not some fairy tale or a story from the past that is believed by many people but cannot be proved true.

We are to hang our whole belief system on this one story. Because if we don’t, our faith will be powerless (futile). Faithing in His death and resurrection changes the direction of your life:

• His death and resurrection transformed the criminal that was hanging on the tree hanging next to him into a committed follower.
• His death and resurrection transformed some hopeless and fearful men and women into bold witnesses of the resurrection.
• His death and resurrection transformed a pagan holiday which worshiped the god of fertility and the god of weather into a Christian holiday that now celebrates His death and resurrection.
• It turned this weak little boy who was shy and timid and physically walked on in jr. hi school, ignored in high school, and didn’t have a clue to what he was going to do with his life in college, into a man who now boldly proclaims to you that His death and resurrection did happen and putting your faith in him and giving your heart to him will change your life.

Fairy tales are nice and they make us feel good and they always have a happy ending but they can’t change your life. This story is not some fairy tale. Nor is Jesus’ death and resurrection a legend. Faithing in a man who loved you so much he was willing to lay down his life to convince you that is this He is not a fairy tale or legend. He is simply wanting us to love Him back …..  that’s why he came back to life.  Thousands of people saw him die. Thousands of people saw him walking around after he rose on the 3rd day. And billions upon billions of people have given their life to and for Him. Millions of people still today are being martyred because of their faith and belief in his death and resurrection.

I wonder. Do you know Him? (click here to watch “That’s My King.”)

“Doubt is a half way stage between faith on the one hand and disbelief on the other. ” – Os Guiness

He goes on to say “it is a half way stage that needs to be resolved. One goes back to faith or onto disbelief. ”

Doubt in itself is not a bad thing. It has the potential to destroy your Easter experience (which I will explain later). Many struggle with doubt and don’t know what to do with it and wonder if it is okay to doubt. The question is not whether or not doubting is okay. The question is – what is causing you to doubt.

There is something that creates that doubt. The key is finding out what is causing  the doubt and deal with what caused it so that your faith can move forward. Doubt can be created by a lot of things: a past experience that created a psychological scar, a lack of foundation in your belief system or  lack of confidence that God will do what he says he will do.

Back in 2010,  my in-laws took my family to Hawaii. We had some incredible experiences – ones I will never forget. One particular experience that really got my heart beating fast was zip lining. I heard about zip lining. I had watched zip lining on YouTube. I was a bit scared. But I thought you only live once. “I’m doing it.”

When we got to the first platform I sensed my next to youngest daughter was really scared. Her and I was the last to go.  I did whatever good dad does …. I played the bad guy – I yelled and got in her face that she needed to do it. I told her, “she would regret it later in life if she didn’t do it if she didn’t do it today.”  I added , “you may never get this opportunity to do it again.”

Here is the recording of the four minute interview

If you listened,  you discovered she was at the half way point.  She saw all of us harness up and jump and land safely. I knew she could it but she doubted she could do it. When she finally did it …. all doubt was resolved.  Her faith kicked into gear and she was the first to jump on the next zip line.

Like I mentioned earlier, doubt is not a bad thing. In fact you can’t have faith without having doubts.  Faith is birthed from our doubts if we confront what is causing our doubts.

Thomas, or affectionately known as “doubting Thomas”, gets a bad wrap  for not initially believing that Jesus had risen from the dead.

Listen to his story found in John 20:19-29,

¹⁹ That Sunday evening the disciples were meeting behind locked doors because they were afraid of the Jewish leaders. Suddenly, Jesus was standing there among them! “Peace be with you,” he said. ²⁰ As he spoke, he showed them the wounds in his hands and his side. They were filled with joy when they saw the Lord! ²¹ Again he said, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I am sending you.” ²² Then he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit. ²³ If you forgive anyone’s sins, they are forgiven. If you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.”

²⁴ One of the twelve disciples, Thomas (nicknamed the Twin), was not with the others when Jesus came. ²⁵ They told him, “We have seen the Lord!”

But he replied, “I won’t believe it unless I see the nail wounds in his hands, put my fingers into them, and place my hand into the wound in his side.”

²⁶ Eight days later the disciples were together again, and this time Thomas was with them. The doors were locked; but suddenly, as before, Jesus was standing among them. “Peace be with you,” he said. ²⁷ Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here, and look at my hands. Put your hand into the wound in my side. Don’t be faithless any longer. Believe!”

²⁸ “My Lord and my God!” Thomas exclaimed.

²⁹ Then Jesus told him, “You believe because you have seen me. Blessed are those who believe without seeing me.”

What happened to Thomas after this scene with Jesus?

Biblical history tells us he went to be a missionary in India. Thomas preached to the Parthians, the Medes, the Persians, Hyrcanians, Bactrians, and Margians. Thomas became a martyr of the Christian faith. He was thrust through all four members of his body with a pine spear in India. He was buried there.

Once Thomas had put his fingers in the holes of his hands and hole in his side, he shouted, “my Lord and my God.”  Thomas just had an Easter experience. After that experience, Thomas jumped off the missionary zip line and went on a spiritual adventure of a life time.  His belief turned into action. His action turned into faith.

Thomas wasn’t  the only who was unable to believe. Initially, the other disciples were unable to believe either. They didn’t believe Mary when she came running and told them that the tomb was empty. This tells me the disciples weren’t really expecting him to rise from the dead – no one had ever done that before. Mark 16:11 tells us,

“when they heard that Jesus was alive …. They did not believe it.”

Could you blame them for not believing it? If you had been there, would you have been able to believe it? Me, personally, would have had an extremely difficult time believing it actually happened.

Even before this incredible event, our spiritual “giants” doubted. The disciples were not the first people unable to believe:

• Moses was unable to believe he could lead the people of Israel out of Egypt
• Sarah was unable to believe she could have a baby in her old age
• Joseph the husband of Mary was unable to believe that his wife, Mary was pregnant by the Holy Spirit
• Paul was unable to believe that this new uprising of Christ-followers was good for the church.
• The disciples were unable to believe that Jesus had risen from the dead.
• The father of the demon possessed boy in Mark 9 was unable to believe that Jesus could do what he said he could. The father is recorded as saying, “have mercy on me and help us, if you can. Jesus responded in vs 23, “what do you mean, ‘if I can?’ Anything is possible if a person believes. In vs 24 the father responds, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief.”

All of these stories have a couple of things in common: First, before they believed, they had to get to the point where they were unable to believe. Secondly, they had to come to the point of understanding that they were leaning on their own understanding.

At one point in their disbelief, they were all trusting in their own understanding of what was going on . When you trust in your own understanding you never get beyond your disbelief.

Anyone reading this can agree there are some things we experience in life that just don’t make sense. These things force us to face our doubts, our uncertainties, and our unbelieving heart. These unexpected things and uncertainties force us to face the things that cause our doubt and unbelief.

It is not that they (all the ones I just mentioned above) were unwilling to believe. They all came to that half way point of faith and disbelief. They all eventually humbled themselves and admitted they were unable to believe. To break it down a little further, they finally were willing to admit that they were trusting in their own understanding. Trusting in your own understanding always leads to doubt.

Thomas’s and the other disciples understanding was that it was impossible for Jesus to raise himself from the dead. They saw Jesus raise Lazarus from the dead. They saw many people healed by Jesus. In their own understanding, they couldn’t picture Jesus raising from the dead. Seeing is not believing. Believing is seeing. Jesus takes it a little bit further in vs. 29 and says to Thomas, “You believe because you have seen me. Blessed are those who believe without seeing me.” Thomas was not unwilling to believe, he initially was unable to believe. This is crucial to understand.

Those unwilling to believe:

• Their heart grows hard towards God
• They pretend that they have life figured out
• They believe they have all the answers to life’s questions
• They never admit their unbelief

Those who are unwilling to believe question everything but never want an answer. They seek but never find anything. They believe in everything which means they believe in nothing. They are full of criticism.  They look for arguments instead of truth.

I have met two men like this in Marion. I was visiting one at the hospital at the request of a friend. He believed every religion was true. He believed that Jesus was not the only answer. He believed there was a God but he didn’t believe in a relationship with God. He was full of criticism for those who believed in Jesus’ death and resurrection. The other man lives just a couple of houses down from the church. I decided I needed to introduce myself to the neighbors this past summer. This guy was Jewish by birth but he isn’t a true Jew. He told me things about every religion and that he believed that all of them were true. When he said that, I knew he believed in nothing at all. I told him what I believed about Jesus and I invited him to come to church.

These two men were unwilling to believe. These two men were unwilling to admit that their own understandings were severely flawed. Without having an intimate relationship with Jesus, everyone’s understanding will be continue to be severely flawed.

Those who are unable to believe:

• Their hearts grow soft toward God when things happen to them that don’t make sense
• Their pretending to believe in God stops and they become honest about their unbelief
• They understand that not all of life’s questions can be answered on this side of heaven
• They admit their unbelief

Thomas wasn’t unwilling to believe.  He needed to see it for himself. He wasn’t able to believe. When he saw the nails in his hands and side,  he went from  unbelief/doubt  to believing so strongly that he went to India and was martyred for his faith.

When he began to believe, Thomas was broken and humbled. In other words, Thomas had an Easter experience. In that moment when he put his hands in Jesus’ scars, he was desperate to believe. A desperation that said, “I want to believe if for myself. I want to trust Him. I want Him to prove it to me.”

Before we truly believe, there must be a desperation to believe. A desperation to want to know the truth.

A boy asked his grandfather what it meant to believe in Jesus. The grandfather said come follow me. They stood by a water barrel. The grandfather grabs his grandson’s head and pushes his head into the water and holds his head underwater. The boy comes up gasping for air. He grabs  his neck again and pushes his head in the water. The boy again comes up gasping for air. He grabs his neck again and pushes his head underwater. Again, the boy comes up gasping for air. The grandfather said when you need Jesus was much as you need air that’s when you know you have begun to believe in him.

Thomas was unable to believe but he was desperate to believe. His world had come crashing down around him. The man he risked his life for – died. He was desperate, everything he understood was tumbling down all around him. His world was turned upside down and it was hard to believe in anything.

What does Jesus do? He didn’t berate him for not having enough faith and his inability to believe. He let him look at and touch his scars. Thomas’s response was like the father’s response in Mark 9, “I do believe – help by unbelief.” Jesus basically told doubting Thomas to look at the evidence and come to your own conclusion. After looking at the evidence, his response was, “my Lord and My God!”

The question is not whether or not doubting is okay. The question is, “what is causing you to doubt?”

When doubts come are you unable to believe or unwilling?

When all the evidence has been fairly evaluated, the only possible conclusion is that Jesus died, was buried, and He rose from the dead. The entire Christian faith hangs on this one fact. Jesus rose from the dead – literally, physically, bodily, and visibly.

Ask God to help you in your unbelief.

Mrs. Billie Cannon, a Knoxville, Tenn., homemaker was preparing to paint her back porch. In order to protect the floor, she carefully placed around the edges a strip of Scotch tape– he kind with adhesive on both sides. It was her plan to place a drop cloth over the floor and secure it with the tape. Having succeeded in placing the tape around the entire surface, she went back inside the house to get a drop cloth.

Returning to the porch sometime later, she found that all of her carefully placed tape was gone. She was completely mystified. Where could it be? Who would possibly have taken the time to pull up that tape and why? As she was surveying the situation and mulling over her puzzling predicament, she noticed something moving in her back yard.

Looking more closely, she discovered that it was a snake. It was a rather large creature of its species, but it was no threat to her. It was hopelessly immobilized by being totally enmeshed in a large ball of Scotch tape. Evidently, while Mrs. Cannon was in the house, the snake had crawled up on the back porch and had eased itself onto that tape with the adhesive on both sides. Sensing that the tape was sticking to its skin, the snake obviously put up a terrible struggle. In doing so, it pulled every bit of tape from the floor. The harder it fought, however, the more hopelessly it became entangled in its adhesive prison until it was totally held captive.

This is the story of a lot of people who make a mistake or have made bad choices. We try to work our way out of the bad choice or try to fix the mistake. We end up becoming entangled in its adhesive prison until we become totally captive. To make this a little clearer, we can’t forgive ourselves because we haven’t honestly repented of our rebellion towards God or we feel bad for what we did at the time but it never effects us. Many Christ followers never get to the point where they can admit they have rebelled against God.

There are two stories that are found in Matthew 26 which give us a clear contrast of being remorseful – or feeling sorry for what you have done vs. being repentant – or admitting your rebellion against God.

The first story is found in Matthew 26:14-16,

14 Then Judas Iscariot, one of the twelve disciples, went to the leading priests 15 and asked, “How much will you pay me to betray Jesus to you?” And they gave him thirty pieces of silver. 16 From that time on, Judas began looking for an opportunity to betray Jesus.

Judas was remorseful but could never admit his rebellion against God. We find out later in the story that he did this (watch this two minute clip)

Judas got entangled in his adhesive prison and never admitted his rebellion against God. This leads to giving up on the one who could have gave him hope.

Like Judas, we all have made mistakes. We all have rebelled against God a time or two this past week.  We might not have kissed Jesus on the cheek and betrayed him but we definitely have nailed him back on the cross a few times because of our refusal to allow the Easter story – this Easter experience – to change the way WE think, change the way WE act, and change our rebellious heart to an obedient heart.

Like Judas, we create this emotional and spiritual prison by believing the lies of the Enemy that we can’t be forgiven.

Like Judas, we are deceived by the enemy into thinking that God has stopped loving us because we have betrayed Him.

Like Judas, we stay in this emotional and spiritual prison because we can’t admit that we have rebelled against God.

Judas was remorseful. Being remorseful leads one in an attempt to make up for the mistake. If you remember the story, after Judas betrayed Jesus he went back to the religious officials and he tried to make up for it by going back to them and giving them back the 30 pieces of silver. Judas was trying to correct his mistake. But there is no way he could correct it – there was nothing he could do to change it – there was nothing he could do to make up for it. He was remorseful but the scriptures never mention him repenting. If you watched that clip you learned that he went and hung himself.

The second story is found in vs. 34&35 of the same chapter:

34 Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, Peter—this very night, before the rooster crows, you will deny three times that you even know me.”
35 “No!” Peter insisted. “Even if I have to die with you, I will never deny you!” And all the other disciples vowed the same.

Watch this two minute clip of  Peter denying Jesus (click here)

He denied he even knew Him. Many scholars agree this was far worse than what Judas did. The bottom line is they both betrayed him. What they did was equally despicable. Peter also ran to the nearest tree. He didn’t hang himself. He ran to the nearest tree and wept bitterly. It is described as a gut-wrenching weeping. The kind of weeping that makes your stomach hurt. The kind of weeping that stretches those midsection muscles to the point of almost pulling them off the bone.

Unlike Judas, Peter turned to Jesus for mercy and repented. Peter admitted his rebellion towards God. He wasn’t just sorry for what he did – he was afraid he had totally ruined his relationship with Jesus. He was so bold and so cocky and said that he would follow Jesus to the point of death. But he failed and he failed miserably.

It’s not enough to  just feel sorry about your sin. Judas was sorry for his sin but nowhere in scripture can we find that he repented. He never admitted he rebelled against God. Peter was not only sorry but he also repented and his life went in a totally different direction. If you know the rest of story, Peter introduced a lot of people to Jesus after Jesus rose from the dead. Peter admitted his rebellion and turned to Jesus. Peter became the boldest witness of Jesus’ death and resurrection. His boldness led him to his death on a cross. He requested that the cross be hung upside because he felt unworthy to die in the same Jesus died. How is that for a heart transformation!?

Can you see the difference between the two?

Judas’ regret led to remorse but it did not lead to repentance. He realized what he should have done but he was so swallowed upped with regret that tried to fix it himself. He tried to make it better. But nothing he did worked. He couldn’t see a way out.

An important note to make is you don’t have to know God to be remorseful. Remorse is a feeling. Everyone has this feeling knit into them when they are being put together by God in their mother’s womb. Everyone is born with it. You do need to know God to be repentant.

Peter’s regret lead to repentance. Peter’s regret lead him to confess that he had rebelled against God. Peter’s regret lead to a broken and contrite heart. Peter’s regret led him to the mercy of Jesus. Peter’s regret led to humility.

The bottom line is Peter agreed with God that he messed up. Repentance is agreeing with God that you messed up and you need help! Repentance is an action. Repentance is a willingness to agree with God that you are messing up and something inside of you needs to change. Repentance leads to brokenness. Without being broken, you haven’t truly repented. Repentance leads to a different way of thinking.

Look at King David. He committed adultery and murder. He was remorseful and tried to cover it up. When he was confronted, he was broken. He was humbled. He eventually agreed with God that he messed up. David repented and got help! He didn’t just say he was sorry and go about his life as usual – no- he was broken and began to think in a different way.

For us in the 21st century, we still sin against a God. We still mess up. We still make mistakes. In fact Romans 3:23 reminds us that we all still fall short of the glory of God. God is not surprised that we still can’t get it right. He told us in Romans that we will always struggle with getting it right.

There are some things I do believe God is surprised about.  He’s surprised that we don’t ask for forgiveness and live like a forgive people. He’s surprised that we choose to live in our regrets like Judas. He’s surprised that we don’t accept the free gift (not the cheap gift) of grace.

If we are not going to except these things from Jesus, why on earth did Jesus go to the cross?

He didn’t go to the cross to make us nice, better, moral people.
He didn’t go to the cross so we would just say we are sorry for sinning against him.
He didn’t go to the cross to help us feel better about ourselves.
He didn’t go to the cross so we could live a normal, All-American, Christianity –in -a –box,  kind of life.

He went to the cross so that we would not need to live in our past regrets.
He went to the cross so that we can turn away from sin.
He went to the cross so that we can be forgiven.

He went to the cross to make grace available to us.

He went to the cross to change our Judas-like thinking into Peter-like thinking.

For some reason Judas couldn’t agree with God that he messed up. He tried to make it better by turning the money back in, but he couldn’t get to the point to agree with God that forgiveness was meant for him as well.

Judas totally missed the Easter experience. He couldn’t agree with God that he messed up.  He tried to fix everything by turning the money back in. He didn’t trust Jesus.

Peter had an Easter experience. He agreed with God that he messed up. He didn’t try to fix anything, he accepted the fact that he rebelled against God. He trusted Jesus.

Most people understand that the Easter experience is more than bunnies, Easter clothes, egg hunts, and Easter baskets. This is what many people have made it.  A lot of people are sorry that Jesus had to die and they may feel sorry for their sin but there are not very many people who have had an Easter Experience.

If you believe that Jesus came to make us nice, normal, American citizens then you haven’t had an Easter experience.
If you believe just saying sorry that you have sinned against him is enough then you have not had an Easter experience.
If you believe that Jesus went through all that He went through to help us feel better and have a better self-esteem then you haven’t had an Easter experience.
If you believe that you can live a normal, All-American, church-going- Christian life without having to pay any price for following Him – you haven’t had an Easter experience.

Jesus came and died not to make our life easier. He came and died not so that we can say a little prayer and feel better about our self.

He came and died so that we can have the same experience that Peter did. Even though we rebel against Him on a daily basis, we can meet with Him, seek Him, follow Him, and sacrifice for Him and like Peter, serve Him with all our heart.

A man worked in a post office. His job was to process all mail that had illegible addresses. One day a letter came to his desk, addressed in a shaky handwriting to God. He thought, “I better open this one and see what it’s all about.” So he opened it and it read:

“Dear God, I am an 83-year-old widow living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had a hundred dollars in it which was all the money I had until my next pension check.”

“Next Sunday is Easter, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with.”I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?”

The postal worker was touched, and went around showing the letter to all the others. Each of them dug into their wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected 96 dollars, which they put into an envelope and sent over to her. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of the nice thing they had done.

Easter came and went, and a few days later came another letter from the old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read:

“Dear God, How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?” “Because of your generosity, I was able to fix a lovely dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day, and I told my friends of your wonderful gift. ” “By the way, there was 4 dollars missing. It was no doubt those thieves at the post office.”

Serving others cost you everything.

This is the greatest tool the church has in impacting a community. I really can’t think of a better way to introduce people to the love of God than giving others something they really don’t deserve. We need to be willing  to pay the price. When I use the word price, I am not just talking about money. I am including time, energy, prayer, man power, and a willing heart. As Christ-followers, serving others is what we are called to do. Even if they are as ungrateful as this woman in the story I just shared.

As a pastor, what bothers me the most is that Christians have made serving others a chore (who likes to do chores?). We have made it an inconvenience and an after-thought. We have the attitude that this is something we should do because we are Christ-followers, and we have to do it  which consequently “fills our hearts with joy!” (not really).

Christ followers have made it a chore.

• It’s a chore to work into our schedule
• It’s a chore to show up and give ourselves
• It’s a chore because we make it something we HAVE to do with very little urgency behind it.

If you are Christ-follower, it is something we need to do. It’s not a chore. It’s not an inconvenience, it’s not an after-thought. As a Christ-follower, serving others becomes our lifestyle. It’s not something you have to pray about – serving others is what Christ-followers are called to do. It’s like changing a dirty diaper. You don’t have to do it – you don’t pray about whether or not you should change the diaper– you know you need to do it. It’s not a chore – it needs to be done.  It’s like putting gas in your car when we were paying $3.99 a gallon. It’s not a chore, you don’t have to pray about whether you put gas in your car – it needs to be done.  Like doing your taxes, you don’t like to do it, you don’t pray about whether or not you need to do your taxes, it needs to be done or go to prison.

Whether we like it or not – serving others needs to be done. It needs to be done in your work place. It needs to be done in your home. It needs to be done in the church. It needs to be done among your unbelieving friends. “Needs to” adds a sense of urgency. “Have to” do it adds a sense of drudgery and  there really is no urgency. It becomes more a less an obligation  than a privilege.

A couple of blog entries ago I shared the story of Ann Smith and her husband (missionaries to Japan) taking in a gay man. They told him how much Jesus loved them – his life was change forever.  I also shared a story of a church in San Diego, Ca who was bothered by the fact the gay community thought the church hated them. The church responded to this criticism by investing $10-$15,000 to renovate a park they met in. We need to serve others because it reflects the love of God.

The scripture we are looking at points to the fact that Christ-followers are to be different, think different, and act different from the rest of the world.

Mark 10:43-45

43 But among you (meaning those who follow Christ) it will be different. Whoever (meaning those who are willing to take a risk) wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, 44 and whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of everyone else. 45 For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

To help you understand this verse, James and John just asked Jesus if they could sit on his right and left. The other ten disciples heard their request and naturally were a little ticked off about their request.  Jesus – being Jesus – knew what was going on and he says, “you know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. But among you it will be different.

But among …… it will be different.

• You are to think like a servant.
• You are to act like a servant.
• You are to be a servant.

This is a big deal to Jesus.

A bigger deal than who are next president will be.

A bigger deal than the social issues we rant and argue over on Facebook and Twitter.

A bigger death than what you are going to eat after you read this.

Jesus spoke into some of the social issues of his day but he wasn’t a politician. How well he served and loved others was his platform.

He tells us,

• To go the second mile
• To turn the other cheek
• To look at the interest of others
• To share with others whether we like them or not
• To love and serve our enemies
• To forgive others whether we like it or not.
• To go into the world and make disciples

Being a Christ-follower cost you everything. Your time. Your energy. Your money. Your way of life.

Steve Jobs, who is one of my business heroes,  is responsible for the smart phone, the tablet, and other technological advances we are experiencing. Back in 1994 he did an interview with PBS that has some tremendous spiritual insight.

He said this,

When you grow up you tend to get told the world is the way it is and your life is just to live your life inside the world. Try not to bash into the walls too much. Try to have a nice family life, have fun, save a little money.
That’s a very limited life. Life can be much broader once you discover one simple fact, and that is – everything around you that you call life, was made up by people who were no smarter than you. And you can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own things that other people can use.
The minute that you understand that you can poke life and actually something will, you know if you push in, something will pop out the other side, that you can change it, you can mold it. That’s maybe the most important thing. It’s to shake off this erroneous notion that life is there and you’re just gonna live in it, versus embrace it, change it, improve it, make your mark upon it.
I think that’s very important and however you learn that, once you learn it, you’ll want to change life and make it better, cause it’s kind of messed up, in a lot of ways. Once you learn that, you’ll never be the same again.

Our world is messed up in a lot of ways. Because you are a Christ follower you are called is to change it and make it better. We are called not just to exist in this world but to love others, be kind to others, share with others, speak words of truth to others, and pray with and for others. Because you are a Christ-follower you are to live, talk, and be different.

I’m not talking about hairstyles, tattoos, what you wear, and the many other things we think make us different from other people. Being different is loving Jesus with all your heart mind and soul and then going and loving your neighbors, your spouse, your kids, and your enemies in the same way. Being different is understanding that Jesus is all you need. God knows we don’t need more stuff. Being different is following Jesus when it feels like your life is crumbling around you. Being different is taking the talents and gifts God has given you and using them for kingdom purposes.

Romans 12:2 reminds us,

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.

All throughout the scriptures you read about ordinary men, women, and children who have been transformed by God. They literally gave their lives to make this Easter story known which says,  “that God loved them so much that he was willing to give His one and only son,  not condemn them but to save them and give people a hope and a future.”

After Jesus death and resurrection, when plagues ripped through the cities and region the people and religious people would flee to escape death, the Christians responded with a servant heart.  They stayed behind and risked their own health to the meet the needs of the ones who couldn’t help themselves. Many of them died in the process. As they nursed the sick back to health, words of their  generosity spread like wildfire. When sickness came, the pagan priest were the first to leave. Meanwhile, the Christians would take care of the pagans. As the pagan’s health returned they often abandoned their idolatrous ways and turned to Christianity. Not because of theology. Not because of a miracle but because of the generosity, compassion, and the servant heart of the Christians that lived in the community. These Christ followers were willing to pay a steep price to communicate to a people who didn’t know Christ that God loved them.

We simply can’t say to the world, “God loves you”, and expect them to understand this truth. We need to demonstrate it. We need to live it out by serving those around us.

The question that haunts me pretty much every week since I have become a Christ follower and understanding what price God was willing to pay to convince me that He loved me:

“What price am I willing to pay for someone to know they are loved by God?”

Jim Elliot in the 1950’s was willing to give his life so that a group of savages in Ecuador could hear the Easter story for the first time. Over a decade ago, A church in San Diego invested $10-$15000 in a park where a gay community spent their time. They wanted to let them know that they were loved by God.

What price are you personally willing to pay so someone can have an Easter experience – for them to understand that God sent His one and only son into the world because He loves them.

There is a  hymn I learned as a kid that still challenges me today. It is called, “Consecration”.  The hymn itself is a great hymn but I very rarely got past the first line,

“Since Jesus gave his life for me … should I not give Him mine.”

Jesus gave His life for us …. how can we NOT give Him anything less.

 Renewing your commitment to the one you love has several benefits.

1. It’s a reminder that you are committed to one person and one person only.
2. It restores value to the vows you made so many days, months, or years ago.
3. It refocuses on who is the most important person in your life.
4. It reenergizes  you and your commitment to love that person to “death do us part.”

There are more benefits that could be listed but these four are the most important.

When you renew your commitment you are adding to the story of  your life together. I love hearing the story of how people met and then got married. My grandma, who was married in the early 1900’s told me about their wedding. They couldn’t afford much but what they did was out of the ordinary. She told me, “he started on end of the city and I started on the other end of the city. Wherever we met was where we would get married.” They met on the top of hill and said their wedding vows. My mom also shared a story of how her and my dad first met. My mom and eventually my dad worked at the same bank. Banks didn’t have computers then like they do now. You had to count everything by hand. You had to record everything by hand. Everything was done by manual entry. One day, as my dad came walking by her, she dropped all the coins she was carrying. Guess who stopped and helped her pick all the change?  It was a match made in heaven. I am personally glad they met! 🙂

Over the last four blog entries I have written about how God designed marriage, how God didn’t design marriage, and how everyone is longing to be loved in an “in-sickness-and health” way. Whether you have agreed or disagreed with what I wrote, we can agree that it takes two people  willing to serve each other for a marriage to work. Men are to love their wives in the same way Christ loved the church (He died for it). Women are to love their husband in a way that values him. Both men and women are to submit (willingly yield) to each other out of reverence for Christ. I can’t figure out a more tangible way to love my spouse than to serve her.

“I Still Am” was written from a conglomeration of webpages I read about renewing vows and recommitting to your spouse. I don’t like to call this writing a renewing of the vows because it really isn’t. It’s a recommitment to submit to your spouse in a tangible way. It takes two people willingly yielding in a tangible way for a  marriage to work.

This is the “hard work” of marriage. Marriage isn’t hard work. Figuring out how to serve your spouse is the “hard work”. It’s hard because we don’t naturally want to serve our spouse. It’s natural to want what we want when we want it. It’s supernatural to want to serve your spouse in a way they don’t deserve.

As you read, “I Still Am”, I encourage you and your spouse to print it out and sign it and post it on your fridge. Let your kids see it. Let your guests see it. Let everyone that comes into your home see it. This is a tangible way to let those around you know that you are committed to loving one person for the rest of your life.

I Still Am (click and recommit)

As Christ-followers we owe the gay community an apology. Christians and Christian organizations have treated them poorly.  The Christian community has  made it an “us vs. them” mentality as if war has been declared.  Some actions of Christ-followers have taken are unbiblical and repulsive.  A lot of religious leaders have come out and publicly said after major events like 911 and Hurricane Katrina that these events were God’s judgement on homosexuals or on those who support homosexuality. There are other organizations who have tried to get gays fired from public office or have tried to keep them away from fair housing or employment opportunities. There have been a couple of churches that represent Christianity who hold up signs at funerals that say, “God hates faggots.” We need to understand that this kind of behavior is just as sinful.

As a pastor, It is really sad that many churches and Christ-followers have made this an “us –vs- them” issue. We did it with the issue of slavery in the 19 and 20th century. We did it with alcohol in the 20’s. We did it with divorce in the 1950-60’s. We did it when the HIV virus became known in the 1980’s.  Some of you might remember Ryan White and  how poorly he was treated when his school and teachers found out he was HIV positive. Most of the religious community treated him just as poorly.

The Christian community does not have a great track record when it comes to loving others who have a different value system. We seem to make every issue about who is right and who is wrong. We forget that Jesus hung around with sinners and the outcast of his day more than he did with religious people. He hung around tax collectors, prostitutes, the demon-possessed, the lame, the lepers, and many others whom the Jewish leaders and people had shunned.

In the early beginnings of Christianity, the early church went to the people in need. They didn’t wait for them to come to their place of worship. Their mission was to make  Christ known to a people who did not know that God loved them for who they were and not because of how well they kept the rules. The Jewish leaders kept heaping law after law on them, making their burden to please God even greater. The early church, after Jesus death and resurrection, went to them to let them know that Jesus loved them so much he was willing to die for them.

The scriptures call us to become like Christ and make Him known. Everybody mattered to Him whether they followed Him or not. At the feeding of the 5000 I am sure he didn’t separate the good people and the bad people. The saved from the unsaved. The homosexuals from the heterosexuals.
He simply met a need.

We seem to forget as Christ-followers that all people matter to God – not just the ones you like. Not all people choose to obey God but all people matter to God.

I read a story this past week of a young gay man who died because of Aids in Southern Indiana. He was not connected with a church. As a service to the family, the funeral home called all the churches in the area on their behalf. Each pastor they called refused to even meet with the family, much less serve them at a funeral service. What a missed opportunity to show unconditional love and for the church to show compassion to a hurting family. Even in the 21st century, Christ-followers and pastors still aren’t doing too well at loving our neighbor. We like to bash them with spiritual truth and tell them how wrong they are. I believe Christ is calling us to do something much harder. Bashing someone because they are wrong is easy. Loving someone when they are wrong is much harder. We are good at pointing out their sin and we like to tell the gay community how wrong they are on Facebook, and blogs. If the church is not careful we are going to make the same mistake as we made with the slavery issue in the 19th and 20th century.

All people matter to God. Not all choose to love Him back. All people deserve to know they are loved by God despite their sexual orientation.

One of our missionaries in the Church of God that lived in Japan for a couple of decades tells the story of when she and her husband took in a gay man because he had nowhere to live. They knew he was gay and hey gave him the following rules: 1. You must have supper with us every night. 2.You must be in by 10pm. 3. You cannot bring any of your partners to our house. Do you know that the missionary couple did for this young man? They loved him unconditionally. They told him how much Jesus loved him. They didn’t tell him you gotta change or you are going to hell. They simply loved him. They met a need in his life. They kept telling him how much Jesus loved him around the supper table. Do you know what happened to this young man?  He is now married and lives out west with his wife and two kids.

The church, which is you and me, are not called to change them. We are not called to change their sexual orientation. That’s not our job. Only God can change the heart of a person. Only God can change their sexual orientation. Our job is too simply to love like God loves. He loved to the point of sacrificing His own son. We are to speak truth with compassion because the truth is what sets us free. We are to be a person of influence in their life.  If the Church doesn’t except this assignment, then we are saying boldly to a community of people different from you and I that they don’t matter to God.

If God can love me …. He can love anybody. If God can love you … He can love anybody. Just because you might be  straight doesn’t mean He loves you more than those who are not. God never looks at a person’s sexual orientation. God never looked at the prostitutes and tax collectors during the time the scriptures were written and say you are not worthy to be loved by me. He simply told them go and sin no more. God never looked at their outward appearance. God never looked at their past. God is always looking at …. THE CONDITION of their heart. 

Let’s look at this issue of homosexuality and gay marriage from the biblical perspective.

God had an original design established back in the book of Genesis.

Look at Genesis 2:18.22,24-25

The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him’…the Lord God made a woman…and brought her to the man…For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame” (Genesis 2:18, 22, 24-25, NIV).

We learned a few things from a few blog entries ago:

• God created our sexual identity
• God created diversity. He made humans into two identities which call male and female.
• God created intimacy.
• God intended the expression of sexual intimacy to take place between a man and a woman.

All of this means that femininity and masculinity are the at the heart of God’s design. God created men. God created women. God created marriage so that their differences would complete one another in every conceivable way  ….. emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Which means marriage is more than merely personal. It is more than a contract. And it is much more than tax return credits and health insurance. This is why the Bible says that for this reason a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

This brings us to homosexuality.

Homosexuality departs from God’s design.

Instead of embracing the man-woman design, homosexual behavior embraces a same-sex (man-man, woman-woman) preference as the design for sexual intimacy.

Look at what the Bible says about same-sex sexual intimacy:

• “Do not practice homosexuality; it is a detestable sin” (Leviticus 18:22, NLT).
• “If a man has sex with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is abhorrent” (Leviticus 20:13, Msg)

This theme continues in the NT.

“Instead of believing what they knew was the truth about God, they deliberately chose to believe lies…Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. And the men, instead of having normal sexual relationships with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men…” (Romans 1:2527, NLT).

Suffice it to say that every single reference to homosexual behavior in the Bible – Old and New Testament – condemns it. It doesn’t condemn the people – it condemns the behavior. It seems clear enough on the surface, but those who wish to advocate for the legitimacy of a homosexual lifestyle have gone to great pains to discredit each and every biblical reference.

As you read through the Old and New testament there are some rituals that are time bound like the eating of certain foods, tattoos, animal sacrifice for sins, marrying multiple wives, and having concubines, and temple rituals to name a few.Then there are also  some timeless things like The Ten Commandments, incest (I think we all can agree that this sick and still wrong) and homosexuality.

Then there are those who take the New Testament verses to task by saying that while it seems to condemn homosexuality, it was really talking about male prostitutes, but not same-sex consensual relationships. The problem with that is that the Greek words used for homosexuality in the New Testament were very clear.  They referred to homosexuality of any and every kind.

God’s design will never change. Man is trying to change it. Man is trying to justify same-sex marriage. Just because a Federal law was created to make same sex marriages legal – it does not change God’s original design. It makes it a civil union not a marriage.

There are some things the Christ-followers need to understand:

1. Many people who pursue a lifestyle of homosexual behavior didn’t set out to be this way; they really do have a very strong tendency toward that behavior. They are genuinely attracted to the same-sex.
2. A homosexual orientation is no different from any other orientation someone can have toward a particular lifestyle that may be outside of God’s will.

Someone might have an orientation toward pride, another for chemical addiction,another gossip, another for gambling or slander, someone else for stealing or lying, another for materialism., and another for eating lots of food. All of us have a certain make-up that shapes us and makes us more prone to a particular temptation than others.

To put it simply, alcohol does not tempt me at all but for some it is a real issue. Materialism does not tempt me at all but for some buying stuff makes you feel better.

I have an orientation of having to be right …. But for some of you don’t have to be right. I love to prove you wrong. I have an orientation to be emotionally expressive to the point of sometimes embarrassing my family.

I could just say, “this is just who I am …. Deal with it!”. But, I have a personal responsibility to mature in my walk with Christ. No matter what you are oriented toward, it’s really dangerous to say, “God made me this way so it’s ok for me to pursue this.” I have had people tell me, “this is the way I am …. This is the way God intended me to be.” No …. God never intended for any of us to be broken. This was not part of his original plan. His original plan was for us to be in an intimate relationship with Him and worship Him forever. 

But we are broken …..  we are more inclined to pursue our natural orientations. Some people have an orientation toward same-sex relationships. They can’t explain it … they just do. I can’t really explain to you why I am so oriented to having to be right all the time. I just am. But just because I have that kind of orientation doesn’t mean it’s right. I have hurt a lot of people I have loved over the years.

I think we all could agree:

Just because someone has the desire to murder – doesn’t make murder right
Just because someone has the desire to molest a child – doesn’t make child molestation right
Just because someone has the desire to watch pornography – doesn’t make pornography right.
Just because someone has the desire to eat a lot of food – doesn’t make gluttony right.
Just because someone has the desire to buy a lot of stuff – doesn’t make materialism right.

God knows we are broken. He knows we are bent towards our natural orientation. This is why he provides a way of escape.

“But remember that the temptations that come into your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will keep the temptation from becoming so strong that you can’t stand up against it. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you will not give in to it” (I Corinthians 10:13, NLT).

No temptation, no natural orientation in your life is different from what others experience. We are all broken and we are all tempted. No temptation is greater than another. Just because some people have an orientation toward a person of the same-sex doesn’t mean it’s okay to practice homosexuality or to marry them.

According to the scriptures, marriage isn’t something we make up, or we define. God did it. And it is what it is. It is one of those timeless  institutions that even our present culture can’t change. I mean they can change a law …. but …. no one can change the way God designed it. Our culture has the freedom to lower the meaning of marriage  or try to redefine it …. and they are trying. But it doesn’t make it right.

Understanding that the practice of homosexuality and gay-marriage is not part of God’s will for any body, do we, as Christ-followers, oppose it? – Most definitely! On biblical grounds not political.

Does it mean we oppose the people who have an orientation towards the same-sex? Absolutely not! We are all broken vessels. Despite our orientation – we all matter to God. Everyone can be forgiven. Everyone can be restored.

If you are Christ-follower, God has chosen you and I to go into the world and love others (not just love the people we are already like)  like he loves us.

It really saddened my heart that a whole community of pastors refused to serve this family in Southern Indiana because their son was gay and died of Aids. They wouldn’t meet with the family nor would they do the funeral. I gotta be honest … that tells you a lot about churches they pastor. I personally would not be able to attend those churches.

It is my hope that the church, that’s you and me, will not continue to repeat its history when it comes to these tense-filled social  issues. We should never back down from loving our neighbor. This should be our first response.

I hope we (the church) can learn from the mistakes we made with the slavery issue in the 20th century,  the 20’s with prohibition, the 50’s-60’s with divorce, the 80’s with Aids, and presently the homosexuality and gay marriage. We, historically, haven’t  done well.

We’ve got to do better because we will be held accountable for how well we love others.

I John 4:8 reminds us,

But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

How do you think  you are doing?

Divorce is one of those sins that we don’t talk about much. It’s a painful subject because those who have went through it thought they never would. I can’t think of any couple who says “Boy, I can’t wait to get divorced”
right after they get married. I don’t think it is a goal for any couple – but it happens. It happens to Christians and non-Christians alike.

Christians seem to be on one side or the other. There are also those who are in between.

One side says divorce is a sin, pure and simple, no “ifs”, “and’s”, “but’s” or “or’s”. There are no exceptions, no waivers, no passes. It’s always wrong, and always to be condemned. If you are guilty of it you should never be in any type of leadership role or platform, you need to wear it on your chest like a scarlet letter for the rest of your life.

The other side says if there is any condemnation of divorce – any critique, any reservation, any moral line in the sand at all – it’s outrageous.

Thankfully (and this is the majority of Christ-followers), there are those in between who actually care about the people involved.

We are living in a mentality that seems to be dictated by our current culture that says,  “if you you want to get married, get married”, and “if you want to get divorced, get divorced.” It’s nobody’s business but your own. It’s only a legal contract – nothing more, nothing less – end of story. If two people want to end a relationship , its their deal. If one or more persons involved no longer find it enriching – get a divorce. If someone else comes along they feel they would could be happier with – get a divorce. If there are difficulties that seem tough to overcome – get a divorce. Divorce is much easier than becoming a self-less person who will love their spouse “for better or worse.” Besides …. It’s only a legal contract, it’s just a piece of paper …… and everyone one knows contracts are meant to be broken (please hear the sarcasm in my writing).

There are those in the middle – which is where  the majority of most Christ-followers fall.  They don’t want a fight either way. They are just hurting for those involved and they just hate to see the people they love hurt one another. Whether they have been through it themselves, or their parents have and they don’t want to see their friends dragged through it emotionally. They understand the pain and suffering. They hate it because they have been through it. There are guys like me who hate it because I see the damage it does to those involved.

We are living in a culture of divorce. A culture that tells us if you don’t like them, divorce them. If you don’t get along with them, divorce them.  No matter what side you are on – that’s not a good

couple getting divorced

thing. The National Center for Health Statistics reveals nothing less than pandemic. 33% of all new marriages will end in the first 10 years. 43% will end within 15 years. There is also a new trend developing. Those who have been married 25+ years are beginning to end their marriages at an increasing rate.

So much for keeping the vow of loving them, “for better or worse.”

How bad is it?

An article in the Washington Post said that we should simply avoid talking about wedlock and simple have wed-leases. This article wasn’t meant as a joke. Two people would commit themselves for one year, maybe five years – whatever suits them. They could renew it at the end of a lease, or just walk away with no strings attached. The article went on to argue, “instead of the messiness of divorce, you would simply end it like you would return a car at the end of a lease or vacating a rental unit.”

If I could write this person who wrote this in the Washington Post – I would tell him/her that it is already happening – it’s called living together. In living together, each person is “renting out their heart” to another with no promise of a commitment in return.

No matter if you have wed-lock or wed-lease/living together ….. the problem is there is still going to be enormous pain. If kids are involved the pain is increasingly worse for them. The effects on the people involved in the divorce are emotional, psychological, and spiritual.

This is why God said to Malachi, “I hate divorce”.

Malachi 2:16

“For I hate divorce!” says the Lord, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.”

I hate divorce to. I hate what it does to the kids that are involved. I hate what it does to the man and woman who are involved. I hate the amount of pain that people have to go through. I hate the mess it creates in our society.

Don’t you hate that as well?

I don’t hate the people who get divorced. I hate what it does to people when they get divorced. Sometimes it just doesn’t work. Sometimes there are differences that can’t be reconciled. Sometimes there are issues that can’t be resolved. Sometimes both people are so stubborn and bull-headed – it just won’t work.

It’s my goal when I do marriage counseling to talk the couple out of getting married. I make a point to ask each couple – “do you still want to get married?” I have only succeeded once in my 25+ years of ministry. I asked this particular couple, “do you still want to get married?” The groom answered, “of course we do.” The bride responded, “No I don’t”. She saved them both a lot of  heart ache and future pain by answering the question honestly.  There are three other weddings that I have done where they shouldn’t have gotten married – I did my best to talk them out of it but they had that look in their eye that told me there was no way I was  going to talk them out of it. All of three them ended in divorce. Two of the divorces involved kids.

Yes …. I really do hate divorce but I don’t hate the divorced.

Jesus also had something to say about it. He hated it too.

Look at what Jesus says about divorce in what is called the Sermon on the Mount. It is found in Matthew 5 starting with verse 31:

31 “You have heard the law that says, ‘A man can divorce his wife by merely giving her a written notice of divorce.’ 32 But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery.

Right after that in vs. 33-37, He gives the reminder about making outward commitments that you haven’t settled in your heart to keep,

“….. you have heard that it was said ….., ‘ do not break your oath, but keep the oaths you have made to the Lord.’ But I tell you, do not swear at all ….. simply let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No ….’ ”

What does Jesus say about divorce?

Divorce is usually wrong.

There are two key words you need to focus on

• Usually
• Wrong

Let’s deal with the wrong part first….

What Jesus is condemning is the easy divorce mentality of His day. Jesus says, “I know you have heard that it was okay to divorce each other, but I’m telling you that when you do, you are going against God’s law.” He is warning us in Matthew 5 if there is remarriage following a divorce for petty reasons, you’re committing adultery, because in God’s eyes, it is a violation of the marriage covenant you entered into.

Remember what I said a couple of blog entries ago?  “God instituted marriage as a permanent union between a man a woman. From the beginning of time, God intended men and women who entered into marriage to make it a life-long commitment.” The Bible’s language communicates the two become “one”, or, as the literally Greek translation says, they are “glued together.”

The reason why I try to talk couples out getting married is because they are making a sacred vow. There is something that mysteriously happens after a couple says, “I do”.  An acquaintance of mine who is a licensed family therapist told me that 80% of the people who get married after living together end in divorce. There is something mysterious about saying “I Do” and putting a ring on that person’s finger. This is why Jesus emphasizes let your “yes” be “yes” …. Make the commitment then and there to love them “for better or worse”.  A couple is making a covenant with one another.  Jesus is emphasizing when you say “yes” or “I do” to someone don’t just rent your heart to them. Selflessly give your heart to them.

Jesus also teaches us that divorce can occasionally be right.

If the other person keeps crushing your heart – time and time again ….. abandons you or ….. abuses you emotionally, physically, psychologically …. This is not part of God’s plan for your life. Get out!
If they are hurting you or your children …. this is not part of God’s plan …..  Get out.
If they are being unfaithful to you …. this is not part of God’s plan …. Get out.
If they are doing things that are illegal and harmful to you family…… this is not part of God’s plan ….. Get out.

On the flip side of this, we are not talking about situations where you don’t want to stay with them but you could. Situations where it’s uncomfortable or unpleasant to stay with them … but you really could stay.

Like the wife who came to columnist and minister Dr. George Crane who was full of hatred towards her husband. She told him, “I do not only want to get rid of him, I want to get even. Before I divorce him, I want to hurt him as much as he has me.”

Dr. Crane suggested an ingenious plan “Go home and act as if you really love your husband. Tell him how much he means to you. Praise him for every decent trait. Go out of your way to be as kind, considerate, and generous as possible. Spare no efforts to please him, to enjoy him. Make him believe you love him. After you’ve convinced him of your undying love and that you cannot live without him, then drop the bomb. Tell him that you’re getting a divorce. That will really hurt him.” With revenge in her eyes, she smiled and exclaimed, “Beautiful, beautiful. Will he ever be surprised!” And she did it with enthusiasm. Acting “as if.” For two months she showed love, kindness, listening, giving, reinforcing, sharing. When she didn’t return, Crane called. “Are you ready now to go through with the divorce?”  “Divorce?” she exclaimed. “Never! I discovered I really do love him.”

Divorce is never plan A.

Plan A is loving them through their faults with the same kind love that God shows us.

But, sometimes there are some marriages that just don’t work. Sometimes we mess up. Sometimes, as we learned in the last blog entry through Carolyn’s story , marriages fail. Even Christian marriages. We don’t plan for them to fail …. they  just do.

This doesn’t mean you have messed up for eternity.

What many people forget is this is about people’s lives. Their hearts. Their brokenness. God wants to restore us when we fail. God is a God of second chances. This is what he did with the woman at the well who had five failed marriages and was in her sixth marriage. She met Jesus …. her life was changed …. Greek orthodox history tells she went on to be a martyr for the Christian faith. God still does that! Divorce is not the worst sin the end of the world …. You can be forgiven and you can start anew. It’s not the unforgivable sin.

So the questions that naturally comes to my mind is can you get remarried after you messed up the first time? Listen to this 11 minute interview of two Christ-followers named Mike and Amy. They tell a beautiful story of how God forgives and restores.

God really does hate divorce. He doesn’t hate the divorced. Divorce is not part of his plan for any married couple.  The fact is, other than in some special circumstances, divorce is the fault of both people involved. Both sides need to confess their faults.

If we come to him like the woman at the well, if we come to him like Zacchaeus did, they both were broken …. God did some incredible things through their brokenness. Like these two, God loves us so much he wants to redeem and restore us each time we “miss the mark” (sin).

God’s redeeming and restoring starts with forgiveness. Forgiving the other person. Forgiving ourselves.

If you have been through a divorce, God wants us to honest about our faults. Not honest about our ex – spouse’s faults. Those can be rattled off pretty quick. Being honest about where we failed is where real holiness begins. Actually, this is when the Holy Spirit can do some really miraculous things in us and the other person. We need admit where we have fallen short. We need to admit we have failed.  Ask for forgiveness and let yourself be forgiven.  He is a God of second chances. He wants to give us a second chance but we first must admit we messed up with our first chance.

God instituted marriage as a permanent union between a man and woman. If you get married you are “glued together” by God by saying the simple words “I Do” and sharing a token of your love which is usually a ring.

In turn, God gets that marriages can come unglued. That doesn’t mean He’s is okay with it. Malachi quotes him saying he actually hates it when we get unglued. We need to ask for forgiveness. We messed up. We need to humble ourselves and admit it.

If you are going through a bad marriage, have been severely hurt by someone,  being currently hurt by someone,  or  you are have trouble being married to the person you are married to …..

There is hope ….

Keep in mind that every marriage goes through a difficult season. Don’t give up on it because it gets difficult. In those difficult season(s), you don’t want to divorce but the alternative is for things  to keep going the way they are and you don’t feel like you can keep going on. Don’t expect your spouse to change. I encourage YOU to change. I encourage you to do the things as if you loved them (like the woman I shared about early). I encourage you to serve them and let God change  your heart. I encourage you to pray for yourself and for your spouse.

This three-minute scene from the movie, The War Room, gives a great visual of what I am talking about.

There is no such thing as a perfect marriage but there is such a thing as two imperfect people who are perfect for each other. Marriages just don’t last because two imperfect people say they are in love and it’s a naturally great relationship. They last because two imperfect people make specific, concrete choices that are fleshed out in specific acts of the will. They last because two imperfect people understand that marriage is more than just a legal document. They last because two imperfect people  are willing to selflessly love the other. You might be afraid of selflessly loving someone for the rest of your life but I encourage you not to “rent your heart out” to anybody. This is a very dangerous thing to do. Sometimes it ends well but most of the time it does not.

God knows that not all marriages will stay “glued together” but divorce is never “Plan A”. But when “Plan A” fails, He offers us a second chance but we must be willing to admit we messed up the first one to get the second one.

Recently, Gary and Louise Lidington, from London, wanted to get married.
It was going to be a civil ceremony, but they wanted to use traditional language for their vows.
Just hours before the ceremony, they received an urgent call from the council registrars saying they couldn’t legally perform the ceremony for them because they legally couldn’t say some of those words.
Because they were TOO Christian.
So they asked, “which words?”
Well, he said, we can’t “in sickness and in health.” The was too “religious” for a civil ceremony.
So the couple rewrote the part.
Then he said that they couldn’t have the phrase “to have and to hold” . Again … TOO Christian. So they rewrote that.
And on and on it went until all the traditional vows they had written were eliminated.
They were so taken aback – this very secular couple – by being told that almost everything they really wanted in their marriage was Christian in nature, that even though they had elected not to have a Christian wedding. When it came to the time in the wedding where they had prepared speeches for each other, where they could say anything they wanted, they took the time to recite the original, Christian vows, because they realized that is what they really wanted to say.

Everyone is longing for someone to love them “in sickness and in health.”
Everyone is longing for someone to love them in a “to have and to hold” way.

That’s why we cried last week when we listened to what Fred wrote  for his wife in the last blog entry after she passed away. Even people who don’t have a relationship with Christ want that someone to love them in each of those ways (like the couple in London).

The trouble is ….. we are not capable to love someone “in sickness and health” . We are not capable to love someone in a “to have to and to hold” way. We all fall short ….. we all hurt our spouses ….. we all SAY things we wish we could take back ….. we all DO things we wish we could take back.  Our intention is never to hurt our spouse or the one we love ….. it just happens. We say the wrong thing we do the wrong thing ….. and well once it is said and done …. It can’t be taken back.  The reason we do these things is because by nature we are selfish. By nature we like to have things our way. By nature we like to cast the blame for our sinfulness and sinful behaviors on the person we just made vow to love them in sickness and health.

We are to love them in an unselfish way …. but we don’t naturally do that. As I mentioned in the last blog entry, for years I was taught and even in marriage counseling I was taught that Jesus needed to be at the center of my life and marriage. I was brought up in a Christian home and learned a lot of Bible stories, memorized a lot of scripture, attended every Sunday school class I could go to.  I attended church. I never missed a Sunday morning or Sunday night. Never missed a Wednesday night. I listened to my marriage counselor.

I totally agree that Jesus needs be to at the center of every marriage. The reality is in most cases is He’s not and when He is not …. even when we are raised in a Christian home, even though we might have memorized a ton of scripture, even though we listened to our marriage counselor …… there is still no guarantees you understand what it means to love someone the way they deserved to be loved.

Listen to this interview that I did with one of the ladies in our church who kept Christ at the center of her life even when she was going through a difficult marriage. She said some things that need to be heard before you get married. (click here to listen to this 7 minute interview).

Christ followers have had trouble staying married even during the time when the scriptures were being written. In fact it was such big deal that Paul wrote this to the church people in Ephesus in Ephesians chapter 5:21-33.
Ephesians 5:21-33 (NLT):

21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.
25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body.
31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

This passage of scripture points out the deepest kind of relationship a man and woman can have.

I have to admit when I first met saw my wife-to-be from a distance I wasn’t attracted to her because of her mind and how smart she was – I discovered that later. There was a physical attraction. When I got to know her I realized not only was she beautiful – she was smart! Our relationship grew as we talked and learned about one another. It went from a physical attraction to an intellectual attraction. I’m not quite sure what she saw in me because I wore an orange painters hat, ragged blue jean shorts, a muscle shirt, and red socks and sandals (I wore often). It must had been my intelligence  :).

Then we started to connect emotionally. We enjoyed each others company and there was a chemistry between us. We got along well. I looked forward to being with her and she looked forward to being with me. When you get to this level in a relationship – this is where most people stop. Because if you are connecting emotionally then …. well ….. you marry them.

The scripture in Ephesians 5 tells us there is another level – a much deeper level. The stuff we don’t do naturally. The stuff we don’t practice enough. But, if practiced, this person truly becomes your soul mate.

Your soul is the  spiritual level of a relationship. It is the deepest part of who you are and what you are offering to your spouse. Taking care of your soul is the greatest thing you can do for your spouse or your girl/boyfriend/or fiancé. To put in other terms, the greatest thing you can do for those that you love is work on your relationship with Christ, understand how much God loves you, and go love the other in the same way.

Work on submitting yourself to Christ then as your relationship with Christ goes so goes all your other relationships. Especially the important ones.

I believe this is where a lot of marriages fail – even the good ones. We say we want Christ at the center of our marriage but He first must be at the center of your life. For me, this is obvious as the nail in the head.

As we grow in that relationship with Christ we learn that we are called to fulfill certain roles. Ephesians 5 defines those roles. Women libbers hate it. Politically correct people don’t like it and our current culture completely rejects it and calls it old fashion.

As you read this passage, the one word we hate and gets the most attention in this passage is what? ………. Submit. If you just read the first couple of verses it seems like it is just targeting women for submission. Which for women,  and in this age of gender equality,  this is a blatant slap in the face. It seems to tear away at a woman’s sense of equality. It could easily make women feel like second class citizens.

What does this word actually mean in this context? It literally means yield. To submit to someone means to voluntarily yield to them, to willingly defer to someone. We willingly submit …. all the time.

How many of us at our work place get to do what you want?

How many of us in a job interview tell your employer this is the way it is going to be if you want to hire me?

How many of us when you are at a restaurant act like complete fools? Or do you willingly submit to the unwritten etiquette of the restaurant.

But when it comes to willingly yielding yourself to another person …. Well ….. it’s just unheard of ….. it’s just not right …. Your taking away our freedom. Submission is a willingness to give yourself to another person in a selfless matter. You are not giving up any rights. No one loses their freedom. It is a willingness to become selfless. 

Look at what he says in vs 21,

And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Selflessly give yourself to one another out of your deep devotion to follow Christ. The role of the husband according to this scripture is to love their wives the way Christ loved the church. Christ willingly gave his life for the church. We husbands are to die to ourselves for the well-being of the women we love.

When you have two people, with Christ in their hearts, submitting or yielding themselves to Jesus, the yielding to Jesus results in them turning to their spouse and yielding to them. 

• Yielding not because you have to but because you want to honor the other person.
• Yielding not because you have to but because you want to sacrifice for the other person.
• Yielding not because you have to but because you want to be selfless for the other person.

There’s an old joke that says when you get married, and the two become one, you then spend the rest of your lives fighting over who is the one. Is that not true? Many people try to mold and shape their partner into their image. It never works.

Liz Curtis Higgs was one of the best-known radio personalities in America. She used to tag team with Howard Stern. He was the morning show – she was the evening show. Comparing the two …. She was really the wild one. Her show was full of talking about sex and degrading men. She was so wild that Stern told her that she needed to clean up her act. If he is telling you to clean up your act then you know you have gone too far.

She had been burned by a lot of men and her heart had been broken. She became a militant feminist.

Guess what….. she had a Christian friend who kept inviting her to church, and one day, after a long, long time of inviting, she went. And that week, guess what the message was about? You got it ….. Ephesians 5 , “submit to your husbands.”

Not exactly the best topic for Liz. But she listened and then came the second part of the verse, “and husbands, sacrifice yourself; give yourself for your wives just as Jesus sacrificed himself for the church and died for her.” When she heard this, Liz leaned over to her friend and said with a laugh, “I’d gladly give myself to any man if I knew he would die for me.” And her friend leaned back and said, “Liz, there is a man who loved you enough to die for you. His name is Jesus. That’s how much he loves you.”

Not long after that, Liz gave her life to that man.

Young men, older men, and every age in between – have you willingly yielded yourself to that man?
Young women, older women, and every age in between – have you willingly yielded yourself to that man?

If you are (were)  a fan of the TV show, The Office,  you probably remember this little segment from the final season. Pam and Jim Halpert’s marriage is on the rocks. Jim, without Pam’s consent, started a sports company in another city, and then started splitting his time between his new company and Dunder Mifflin. Pam has been left to raise their two children on her own. Their communication breaks sown and they wonder if they are going to make it. Finally they begin marriage counseling, but its hanging by a thread. In this episode as Jim gets ready to leave again, it kind of comes to a head.

Watch this two-minute video here.

Something breaks through for them. Something much deeper, There is a willingness to submit.

Ephesians 5 kind of submission begins with two people yielding their lives to Christ.  It continues with two people yielding their lives voluntarily to the other.

You can read a lot of different books about marriage. They talk about how to do marriage. What a Christian marriage looks like. How to make it last more than five years. All of these are extremely helpful , and I personally have watched many videos and read many articles on what it means to be a godly husband, godly man, and a godly father.

The one thing that is consistent in everything I have read and watched – men and women are different by more than just certain body parts.

Let’s take communication between a husband and a wife.

• Women communicate, men don’t (enough)
• Women want to express, men want to solve.

If you don’t believe me watch this little video that’s been seen by over 12 million people: (it’s not about the nail)

Men are saying, “yep” that’s exactly what I go through!

Woman are saying, “yep, even though its obvious, just shut up and listen.”

And everybody said …… AMEN!

The differences are there but marriage has been the same since God created the institution near the beginning of time. Certain groups have tried to change the definition, some political leaders have created legislation to widen the definition of marriage for tax benefits, insurance, and for financial purposes. They can do all that they want …. God allows them to do that. But Government, nor certain interest groups can change the story in Genesis.

God  gives us the big picture of marriage in the Genesis passage. I know many of us disagree with gay marriage (I will deal this topic on later on), but we meed to be honest, even marriages between men and women are not all that holy nor are they doing all that well.

There are a lot of pressing issues that remind us marriage is not doing all that well. The pressing issues are rampant divorce and remarriage, the huge cultural debate over gay marriage, and the increasing number of couples living together outside of marriage.

These are all important issues  but what bothers me most is that most of the discussion on the issues never go back to the One who created the institution of marriage.  In many cases He is never invited to the table where they are discussing it. Everybody has their opinion about marriage. Everybody thinks they are right. But no one seems to ask the One who created marriage what He thinks about it.

Marriage has become a social construct and something we define by voting on one definition or another. Whoever gets the most votes, wins, and that becomes the definition. We can change a definition of a sacred institution created by God whatever 51% of the votes say. It has become about who gets benefits, who gets recognize, and what gets accepted. We have cheapened it and made marriage about legal matters, tax issues, and a question for the courts to manage.

Marriage is not a legal term. It’s a biblical idea.

Not everybody believe it’s a biblical idea. I mentor young fathers and young fathers – to – be who have gotten their girlfriend pregnant before marriage and want to become a good dad. I recently met with a guy and talked with him about what it means to be a godly man, a godly husband, and a godly father. I’ve talked with him about how important it is that he step up and be those things to the woman he loves. I won’t go into the monologue but his response to me was, “all it is is a piece of paper.” (a legal document).  Technically ….. he was right ….. technically.

I don’t think he knows it’s a Biblical idea. I don’t think he realizes that marriage is a holy institution created by God.

Marriage wasn’t created by humans. Marriage was created for humans. Marriage is not a legal document. It is a union of two people who learn how to serve one another and our government needs for you to sign a legal document to make it official. It is biblically defined as a holy union between a man and woman for the purpose of fulfilling God’s plan.

There is one important side not that I need inject here. Marriage is not for everyone. According to the Apostle Paul, singleness is your best option but if you need to get married it’s better than living in sin.

To understand marriage we must go way back. It is the foundation of all institutions.

This is how it all started: Genesis 2:21-24 (from the Message)

21-22 God put the Man into a deep sleep. As he slept he removed one of his ribs and replaced it with flesh. God then used the rib that he had taken from the Man to make Woman and presented her to the Man.
23-25 The Man said,
“Finally! Bone of my bone,
flesh of my flesh!
Name her Woman
for she was made from Man.”
Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife. They become one flesh.
The two of them, the Man and his Wife, were naked, but they felt no shame.

Each one of us was made a male or female. We are not accidents. We  are meant to be the gender that God created us to be. All of us are fashioned, designed, and crafted by God himself. God intentionally created diversity. He didn’t create us all people men. Nor did he create all people women. Hallelujah!!

He purposely created men and women differently:

• Biologically
• Relationally
• Emotionally
• Psychologically

The evidence is too overwhelming to deny. The only logical reason he created man and woman was for marriage. Marriage is ordained by God and set apart by God, before children, before the family, before government, even before the church. It is at the very forefront of the creation story. This is why the Bible says that when people get married, the idea is not a legal contract, not a societal contract. No …. It is about two becoming one! The Greek word in the Bible that we translate ‘becoming one” is the word “kollomenus” – and it literally reads, “glued together.”

In my personal opinion, trying to redefine marriage is tragic.  Without the understanding that it is created by God, set apart by God, and glued together by God – the institution of marriage gets cheapened by those who make it about a legal document, a tax write off, and other legal matters. To make it just about a piece of paper signed by the couple and pastor that legally says you two are now one ….. well …… it goes much deeper than that.

Hebrew 13:4 says,

 ‘Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage…..

I think it would be safe to say that marriage is not being honored …. Is it?

The Wall Street Journal tells us that for the first time since the U.S. began tracking marriages, more Americans of prime marrying age have stayed single than marrying. At the same time while marriage rates have fallen, the number of adults living together has skyrocketed.  The people of prime marrying have figured out that it doesn’t take a piece of paper to have kids. It is becoming more common now for kids to have unmarried parents than divorced ones. This is tragic. Even if you remove God and scripture from the equation – it is still tragic.

It’s becoming such an epidemic in Mexico that lawmakers in Mexico are considering a proposal for short-term marriage contracts. Couples will be able to choose the length of their marriage. Starting with two years and then there is an option to renew the contract at the end of the two years  if they stay happy.

Marriage has gone from being glued together by God – to something plastic, bendable and moldable. In other words it simply can be designed as one chooses it to be instead of how God designed it.

Every persons idea of marriage is formed by one of two world views:

There is the creation model which assumes, “ the universe was created with an objective moral order that exists, and that the two sexes are part of the order, and that marriage is the fundamental social institution by which we unite our lives in family and kinship.”

There is the choice model . The model assumes that individuals create their own truths and their own values. Sexuality has no intrinsic purpose – it’s just an opportunity for pleasure and intimacy. Family structure is pliable as play-doh, and any form is acceptable. In this model, marriage is optional, but the right to marry is nothing more than the right to participate in state-defined benefits.

All of us are faced with a choice of the Bible’s vision of marriage or what’s dominating the culture right now – the choice model. Those of us in my generation say (I was born in the early 60’s), “this makes no sense”,  but to those in their 20’s and 30’s this is serious stuff – they are being forced to make a choice that we didn’t have to make. We just accepted the creation world view without question.

I am going to present to you two people. One comes from the “choice” model world view – the other comes from the “creation” model world view.

Cameron Diaz who is intent on being a serial-dater, did an interview with United Kingdom’s Stylist magazine, she said this,

“I think the big misconception in our society is that we’re supposed to meet the one when were 18, and were supposed to get married to them and love them for the rest of our lives. Then she used vulgar version of bologna,  “(bull****)!” Who would want to be with the same person for 80 years?”

In another interview she was asked if she thought marriage was a dying institution, she said,

“I do, I think we have to make our own rules, I don’t think we should live our lives in relationships based off of old traditions that don’t suit our world any longer.”

So what does Diaz intend to do?

“Have someone for 5 years and find another person for 5 years. And there’s nothing wrong with that.”

Under the choice model – she’s right – there is nothing wrong with that.

What does a marriage based on the creation model look like? Where marriage is honored? Where marriage is more than a legal document?

It comes from a 96-year-old man who recently lost his wife Lorraine. His name is Fred. There was a song contest in his town where they were asking people to send in their song with them singing and playing. Fred just sent in the song – with lyrics and a tune – that he wrote about his wife of 75 years.

I encourage you to take the next nine minutes to watch this inspiring story (millions have already seen it). The story it’s self is very moving. If you are a sentimentalist or believe in marriage being honored you will want some Kleenex. (click here to watch).

Now compare the two (Cameron and Fred) … take scripture and God out of the equation.

Which model would you prefer?